Attachment Style and Better Relationships

Attachment Style and Better Relationships

Attachment Style and Better Relationships. One theory in psychology is Bowlby’s attachment theory. Very simply put how we attach to our main care giver when we’re babies is how we form relationships later in life. Is it possible to change an unhelpful pattern later in life? This post looks at some suggestions.




Attachment Style and Better Relationships


The Three Styles of Attachment


1. Secure


You know if your parents leave, they’ll came back. Your glad to see them. You trust them to help you when you’re frightened. As an adult you’ll have good self-esteem, trusting long term relationships and you’ll seek support and share feelings in your close relationships.


2. Anxious Ambivalent


 babies can seem inconsolable when separated from their parents and even when they come back. Worrying about your partner not being there can look like possessiveness in later life.


3. Anxious Avoidant


Not distressed when parents. Leave and not delighted when they came back. You may not be able or willing to share your emotions or invest much in your relationships.




Attachment Style and Better Relationships



Most people have a secure attachment style. Sociable, warm hearted making connections easily. Often there can be a mix. Is it possible to change/ adapt your attachment style? If you’d like to and you think your relationships could benefit from this change then here’s some suggestions.


you can change | Welcome Hypnotherapy




Changing Your Attachment Style


  1. Take an honest look. Which style resonates with you? Do you rarely let people in? Do you go all in and can imagine living without your partner? There is nothing wrong and it’s good to accept yourself as you are before becoming who you want to be.


  1. Work on you and your self-esteem. Grounding a secure attachment style comes in having a healthy awareness of your worth. If that’s a bit of a hypnotic sentence this post may also help.

6 Easy Ways to Build Selflove (


  1. Combat stress and Anxiety. We all know how much easier live can be if we can handle our stress. 9 Ideas for Reducing Everyday Stress (


  1. Build you support network. If you rely solely on your partner for support that’s a lot for one person to take on, on top of all the other pressures they may face.


Attachment Style and Better Relationships

Changing Your Attachment Styles as a Couple


  1. Get to know each other’s style. Look at the positives as well as the negatives and decide what you’d like to work on.


  1. Be honest. Honest communication is the way forward. Calm compassion and respect. Give each other the attention you deserve.


  1. Seek outside help. Consider counselling from a qualified and experienced couples’ therapist.


 The True Love Recipe (



Attachment Style and Better Relationships


Even if you feel you have a mixture of attachment styles. Knowing you and your partners traits will lead to greater understanding. You can then decide on what changes you may want to make for better relationships.  

Janet Adams Hypnotherapist

Author: Janet Adams

I am a qualified Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist based in Belfast but offering treatments virtually as well.

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Phone Number: +44 7952 345840


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