Stop Self-Sabotage in 4 Steps

Stop Self-Sabotage in 4 Steps. This post takes a look at what self-sabotage is. Some of the reasons why we might do it, how hypnotherapy is so effective in combatting it and the 4 steps we can take to stop ourselves doing it!

What is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage happens when we entertain behaviours and thought patterns that go against our wellbeing. These learnt behaviours and thoughts harm us:

• Mentally by acting against our values or undermining our long-term plans
• Physically, by smoking or drinking too much for example.
• Emotionally, by pushing others away.

Imagine that goals you relly want? Perhaps your pre diabetic but can’t stop eating cakes and buns? You want to be healthy but can’t seem to stop the behaviour. That’s an example of self-sabotage. It’s an inside job. You can’t seem to achieve your hopes, dreams and goals. It can be a conscious decision but mostly it’s unconscious drives that determine what way you’ll behave in certain situations.

Reasons why We Self-sabotage

Control. It can seem easier to fail that risk succeeding. The belief that you don’t deserve success can lead to a “why rock the boat “or “this will do” attitude to life. Mundane but safe and controlled.

Low self-esteem. Feeling unworthy. Even if you’re a driven high achiever, those achievements can seem empty victories when we are rooted in the belief that some how we’re never going to be good enough we’ll make sure we fail at something to balance the scales (Imposter syndrome).

Cover Story. My actions led to this. “I was always angry of course she got fed up and we’ve split.” Without addressing why you’re be unable to talk things through with someone you love.

Stimulation. Boredom can create a big gap. One for painful questions and truths to creep into.  Creating drama will definitely distract you from having to deal with bigger issues.

How Hypnotherapy Works to Stop Self-Sabotage

Stories you’ve told yourself or have been told to you, especially from an early age can leave you repeating unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors. Because more often than not it’s the belief that deep down you don’t deserve to be happy, have the job you want or a healthy relationship that drives you to prove yourself and all the other storytellers right.

This is why hypnotherapy is so useful it talks directly to the subconscious and questions the inner critic. In essence hypnotherapy interrupts these unhelpful loops and encourages your unconscious to search out the inner resources that you already have to silence or challenge that harsh internal criticism.

Confirmation bias means your conscious mind will recognize anything that chimes in with what you already believe. Reinforcing a damaging mode of thought. You might not notice or dismiss all those times when it’s simply not true.

How Hypnotherapy Works to Stop Self-Sabotage(The 2 sides of this story)

I’ve had clients who’ve suffered from bullying at work, the negative focus left them incapable of seeing all the positives surrounding them. They matched the unacceptable behaviour to their self-sabotaging script. On an intellectual level they were able to rationalize the unfairness and “count their blessings”. On a deeper level they believed that perhaps there was something about them that prompted these attacks.

The same principles apply to unhappy clients who bully, they also hold many damaging self-beliefs.  It could be the case that they feel fundamentally unlovable / unlikeable and will make sure no one ever gets close enough to prove them wrong.

Trance Works 

Trance occurs when the whole of the brain works together focusing on the same thing. Hypnotherapy uses empowering and positive language to encourage you to relax and find the solutions that are just right for unique you.

 When in trance their unconscious minds were able to retrieve useful memories and relevant experiences, to come up with positive solutions and boost their self-esteem and escape the hamster wheel they had climbed onto.

End self-sabotage in 4 Steps:

1. Become the observer in your own life. Each time you catch yourself self-sabotaging. Note down briefly what happen and what the result was. Like an impartial referee ask yourself what those actions reveal.

2. Visualize your success. What will it look, feel and sound like when you have achieved what you wanted? How will that effect your ability to cope with lifes inevitable ups and downs? Believe in Your Success (welcomehypnotherapy.co.uk)

3. Focus on what you do want. Our subconscious filters out the don’ts in phrases such as “don’t think of a pink elephant. In the same way “I don’t want to feel sad” focuses you on sadness.

4. ACT, don’t just think about all the above or talk about it, take action. Even a small one!

By becoming aware of what your actions are really saying, deciding what success means to you and visualizing it and keeping your focus on what you do want you’ll begin to move towards the life you  want and the person you want to be and Hypnotherapy can help make the journey easier.

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