How to Manage Your Anger

How to Manage Your Anger. What is anger. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “there’s no such thing as a negative emotion”. Although anger isn’t bad in itself, it’s a signal that our boundaries have been crossed, how we choose to react to it is what makes the difference. It can motivate us to chance things we are unhappy with but it can also become destructive. Try the suggestions at the end of this post to manage your anger.

In hypnotherapy we talk about anger, anxiety and depression as reactions to stress and anxiety that move us into our primitive mind. Where survival is key. We used it to make ourselves appear larger and more threatening to opposing tribes or wild animals.  We can all get angry but we can learn to deal with it more effectively.

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How to Manage Your Anger

Types of Anger

There are many types of anger, internalised and externalised. Anger and bullying behaviour often comes from a place of suffering. People aren’t monsters they are often angry because they feel weak /attacked/ or treated unfairly and want to regain a sense of control.

 Types of Anger

• Judgemental; putting others down in a vain attempt to feel better about themselves.
• Paranoid anger – operating out of fear generally jealous and intimidated by others
• Passive aggressive anger covert / sarcastic attempts to punish other, low self-esteem can mean they are unable to communicate openly.
• internalised anger – self harm, eating disorders punishing yourself by turning the anger inward. 

How to Manage Your Anger 

Types of Anger

• Volatile anger – it easily comes and goes – whether physical or verbal, how much anger and how long it lasts is unpredictable
• Chronic Anger –It doesn’t have to be triggered by an event, anger can become a habit / way of life
• Deliberate anger (!) used to motivate / manipulate.
• Constructive anger, recognising the cause and acting to change the situation.

6 Ways to deal with Anger

Given enough time and practice we can learn to ACT not REACT. How about trying:

1. Learn Assertive Communication

If you internalise your anger, it affects your self-esteem and anxiety levels and passive aggression will only make you feel worse. Learning to be assertive means letting people know in a constructive way what has upset you and figure out how you can improve the situation.

2. Vent

You can privately rant and get things of your chest BUT this can also backfire leaving you even angrier. Write your vent down ….and then burn it, crumple it up and burn it…. Letting go like this frees up you mind to focus on solutions not problems. The Power of Letting Go (welcomehypnotherapy.co.uk)

3. Pause

If you are like a bull in a china shop angry then learning to just focus on your breath, it really works! Or stop and see how many blue things you can see, and practice this you’ll given yourself time to be powerfully in control of yourself. Meditation, hypnosis and mindfulness can all help with this.

4. Challenge your View

Feel the anger? You’ve probably told yourself a story as to why someone has said or done something. Ask yourself if there’s any other reason? Are you sure?

6. Avoid

While learning how to control / express your anger minimise your contact with people and places that trigger you.

How to Manage Your Anger

Dealing with & not denying your anger is the way to work through it for the benefit of you and those around you. Learning to communicate assertively will enhance that powerful feeling of self-control rather than the feeling of failure that comes from trying to control things outside of yourself. Practice the suggestions above and you can start to make the changes you want to see in your life. 

Author: Janet Adams

I am a qualified Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist based in Belfast but offering treatments virtually as well.

Contact me to see if I can Help You.

Phone Number: +44 7952 345840

Email: janet@welcomehypnotherapy.co.uk

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